"Wow, you’re very good for a girl"

I’m angry that there are still people who think women are naturally inferior to men. You’d think we’d be over that by now, but no. I just had my first driving lesson with an instructor who kept saying, “Wow, you’re very good for a girl.” 

It’s like we’re just expected to be worse than men. You know the badass female character in films who everyone disregards until she does something extraordinary that blows them all out the water? Sure it’s awesome to watch, but it also plants the idea in women’s minds that we cannot just be good, we have to be extraordinary. 

I remember as a kid, when people doubted me because of my gender, my first instinct was to prove them wrong by getting so good at what I did, no one could say anything. Because I didn’t live in a society that encouraged me to challenge misogynistic views – we live in one that tells us we need proof.

I keep a level head in arguments to prove I’m not losing my temper or ‘on my period.’ I keep my opinions to myself to prove I’m not a ‘drama queen.’ I bear through the pain to prove I’m not overreacting or getting 'too emotional’. 

But that’s unfair. Why are these assumptions true until I’ve proved them wrong? 

And even then, why do they still hold true for other women until they’ve proved them wrong? 

Proof doesn’t make the assumptions go away. Because their assumptions have nothing to do with your capabilities. Their doubt is a product of their sexism. And challenging sexism by getting really good and proving yourself is a lot of effort for very little reward.

And girl, you don’t need to prove anything to them.